An announcement

After much soul- searching I’ve decided to shut down this blog.  There are many reasons why, one of which I’m being watched on here. I no longer feel free to blog about what I want and need too freely. Rest assured though, it’s not my only reason.

What I plan to do is start again under a new blog title and new online name. I don’t even want to say on here what the new blog will look like.

I really don’t want to lose you all. You mean a lot to me each in your own ways. If you’re willing and still want to follow me on a new blog, I would love to have you join me.

I know this will be a pain in the @$$ but if you want to follow me once I get the new blog set up, I ask that you email me and I will fill you in on the details. You could FB me too if you’re on my FB.  My email is: tellsafe at hotmail dot com

When you email me, I will need to know who you are, where I know you from (If I don’t already) and what blog you have. Sorry but with what’s happened lately, I have to do it this way in order to protect my privacy.

I really hope that you’ll follow me, I’d miss you all if you can’t but I understand. So many blogs, so little time. :)

I’ll also be shutting down my Twitter account and starting a new one. If you decide to email me, I’ll fill you in on that info. when I have it set up as well.

Love to you all.

There is hope!

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Rabbit Holes and Mugs…

This past week has been an incredibly tough week for me. Well actually the past few weeks were bad. I’ve been slammed from every direction, but I’m more talking about this week.

In short I’ve slowly let some foods back in my diet trying to ween off the candida diet. Before I was on the candida diet, Crispers where one of my favourite snacks next to nacho’s. Well, I let Crispers back in my diet but forgot the “SLOWLY” part. I hadn’t had them in so long that I just went nuts eating them, and lots of them. I felt like I couldn’t get enough.

Big mistake…

In short I got a really bad reaction to them. I look like I’m recovering from a bad case of the chicken pox. I’ve been so embarrassed and mortified that I really sunk emotionally. Adding to it, is that my Hubby’s on holidays this week. I was feeling so horrible, and feeling guilty for feeling horrible. I didn’t want to wreck his holidays, but I struggled to pull myself out of the rabbit hole.

In order to combat the food reaction, I went back on the candida diet full-blown. I’ve of course removed Crispers all together. Things are beginning to improve, but it was so bad, it’s going to take some time.

Having said all that, I’m feeling a bit better emotionally. I forced myself to go outside the one day and enjoy our gardens, my Hubby and our pooch. It definitely helped.

Tuesday, Hubby and I did a short road trip back to a park we’d been at in the not so distant past. It was an absolutely wonderful day, both weather wise and otherwise.  I took my camera and sunk into photographers heaven. This did wonders for my spirit and soul.

I’m sure it did wonders for Hubby too.

Last time I was at this park which also has an awesome little store, I promised myself that I was going to buy a mug I liked when I returned. I did so. I think I’ve become a “mug collector.” I don’t know how that happened. lol  Anyway, here’s the mug. What do you think of it?

Muggy

“Muggy”
Zoe G.

How was your week?

There is hope.

 

 

 

 

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How many of you can relate?

This video is a bit long but it’s worth the time if you have it. It moved me to tears because I can relate.

What moved you the most?

There is hope.

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PTSD Awareness

I’m so saddened to read just a few minutes ago that an RCMP officer has taken his life due to PTSD. Sadly he’s not the first and won’t be the last.  He spent years of his life being a first responder, as a result he’d witnessed some horrific scenes.  The last being a beheading a few years ago.  It seems these hero’s are afraid to admit when they need help for two reasons.

One, it makes them feel like they’re weak.

Two, They get harassed by their co-workers for being as such.

Really??!!

How sad is this?! I’m almost speechless. When is this world going to understand that PTSD is no laughing matter. It’s very serious and life threatening. The longer it goes untreated the worse it will get. It doesn’t get better over time.

It just seems this world is so primitive when it comes to mental health and the importance of it. People would rather judge or make fun of someone struggling rather than stand alongside them whilst they suffer.

Most of you will know that I’ve lived with C-PTSD for as long as I can remember so this hits close to home for me. It is debilitating but with treatment, it can at least improve. The sooner one gets treatment, the better.

Our government needs to step up and start taking this seriously. They need to take care of our soldiers and our first responders. They need to learn about PTSD and what it can do to the one’s suffering from it.Government please start supporting your people!  This is no laughing matter. While PTSD does seriously affect soldiers, they are not the only ones that deal with it.

It’s anyone who has had a traumatic experience or witnessed one, that can develop it. 

Below are some (Not all) of the symptoms of PTSD. You don’t have to have all of them to have it. Everyone is different.

  • Nightmares
  • Flashbacks
  • Insomnia
  • Depression
  • Panic/anxiety when event is brought up
  • Reliving the trauma
  • Feeling numb
  • Mood swings
  • Startling easily (Hypervigilance)
  • Anger
  • Phobias
  • Guilt/Shame

There are many more.

I’ve left the link to the story below if you’d like to check it out.

http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/mountie-who-witnessed-bus-beheading-dies-by-suicide-1.1918550?fb_action_ids=10152576960557590&fb_action_types=og.recommends

There is hope!

 

 

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A break…

I’ve decided that I need a break from blogging. Does anyone else ever feel that way? So for the summer I’m going to take that break.

It doesn’t mean I’m not going to blog at all. It does mean that I’ll be blogging and responding much less. I went into this whole blogging adventure with the mindset that I’m blogging for me. I’m not blogging to please anyone else, I’m not blogging for stats/numbers or for popularity. This was to be a place simply to get stuff out, think out loud, and keep my mind sharp. If people followed, that was a gift and treasured extra bonus.

That mindset has served me well, and I’ve been very blessed to meet and get to know so many wonderful people. I treasure the friendships I’ve made, and I hope to continue them. You all know who you are.

However some may have been able to tell that my heart is not in this as much as it once was. As with the real world it has come with a fair share of heartache/drama. Some of which I’ve not completely recovered from.

When I blog, I want to blog with my whole heart in it. I know how it affects you all and myself when I’m not. Maybe stepping back will refresh me and bring back the passion or new passions,I don’t know but I hope so.

So what I’m doing, is going back to my mindset of blogging for me. If the mood strikes and I feel I want to blog I will, if not, I’m letting myself off the hook. I hope that this doesn’t offend anyone, but like we all say so often to each other, we have to take care of ourselves right?! If it does bother you feel free to contact me. My email is on my “About” page. I’m happy to stay in touch.

If and when I come back on a more regular basis after the summer, I may also be changing the theme of my blog. I’m still working through that in my mind, so I don’t want to say yet what direction I’m going but, I’ll let you know when I’ve figured it out.

So have a great summer everyone. I will miss you but I’ll be around some and I’m on Facebook too hint hint.

If anyone would like to guest post on my blog please let me know. I would love to feature some of you!

Remember…

There IS hope!

 

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Update and massive fire…

Okay so yesterday Hubby took me to the dentist office. It actually went pretty well. They treated me better than I expected. They didn’t charge me at all for the appointment, x-rays or scan that they did of my whole mouth. The verdict is that the only way this issue is going to be resolved is to get a crown done. :(  I got a price estimate from them and it was less by half than what I was last quoted. Hmm…

Anyway, I’m still going to go to the new dentist and get an unbiased second opinion, with my brand new x-rays in tow. That will save me the cost of having to get them done again. After I hear what they have to say, I’ll make a choice on what I’m going to do and where. I’m so thankful that Hubby was willing to take me yesterday.

Now in other news… 

Our neighbourhood had quite the scary/exciting Sunday evening around here. A house about a block away from us went up in flames. My Hubby is a volunteer Firefighter. So he was on the scene. Given the fire was only a block away, I grabbed my camera and walked over with a neighbour to check things out. I was very surprised to discover that we could get so close to the fire. It sure brings a neighbourhood out of hiding! In fact I was directly across the street. While I was walking over, I heard three explosions and my heart was pounding. I needed to see that my Hubby and all were okay.

Thankfully there was no wind that night like there usually is, and it was raining.  The house, the garage, and a vintage Mustang where completely demolished. The house next door had damage to the roof and attic. The Firefighters managed to stop the second house from going up in flames. Thanks to all our volunteers who risked their lives to save others.  Speaking of others’ no one was hurt.

I was able to get a lot of pictures and some video footage. I would love to show you some pics of my Hubby and hero but, he would rather not be shown. So here are some other shots of what I saw. I want to go back to the scene and take pics of what things look like now. It’s chilling.

Massive House fire

“Black Smoke”

Above is the first shot I took. This was from my driveway.

Massive Fire

“Between the Houses”

Here (Above) you can see between the houses how much black smoke there was. This was also taken from my driveway.

Massive House Fire

“Fire getting worse”

Things progressed really fast as you can see above. I still wasn’t on scene here yet.

House Fire

“Seeing Fire”

It was surreal watching this. Above I’m on my way to the scene still.

Massive House Fire

“Up in Flames”

This sent cold chills down my spine. I was hearing explosions at this point. I couldn’t get there fast enough. I needed to see that Hubby was okay.

Massive House Fire

“Manning the Hose”

A couple of our hero’s above, right in there. Wait until you see the next couple of pics.

Massive House Fire

“Fighting through the Smoke”

Look at all that smoke, but it got worse…

Massive house fire

“Engulfed in Smoke”

You can hardly see them now. And then…

Fire

“Our hero’s. Fire almost out”

The fire here is almost under control!  Thank you for your hard work and bravery.

Hubby told me that they went into the house and pulled out pictures, and memories for the family where they could. Talk about going above and beyond.

There is hope!

 

 

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Fight with the Dentist…

You all know how afraid I am of docs and dentists right?!  If not the word terrified doesn’t come close. Late this afternoon, I had a huge fight with the secretary at my soon to be former dentists office.

They did a root canal a year ago. I’ve had nothing but pain, inflammation and most likely infection since. I’ve not been able to chew on that side at all. I went back to this dentist three times with this issue. They never did a thing to fix it.

Today I made an apt. with a new dentist, but I decided to call the old one and let them know what I’m dealing with. Hence the fight with the secretary. Holy cow did she judge me, blame me, and tell me that I was being unreasonable. She told me that I should have called sooner if I had an issue. I responded with that fact that I had been back three times with said issue. Not only that, but would she go back to a place who caused her pain and never fixed it??

I never wanted to talk to the secretary in the first place, I had asked to talk to the dentist himself and I told her so. Those that know me know, I don’t fight like this. I was told over and over that he was busy with patients to which I responded with, I know have him call me when he’s not.

Well after the fight with the secretary suddenly the dentist was freed up and gave me a call. Longer story short. He’s talked me into going to see him tonight again. He doesn’t want me to see another dentist until he’s had one more look. Quite frankly I think that he will just rub it in my face that I’m wrong and he’s right.

I’m beyond triggered and I’m petrified. Now, not only do I have to go to the dentist but one which I’ve fought with. Both he and his staff. Talk about uncomfortable to say the least.

There’s not enough time to fill you in on all the mistakes they’ve made, and tried to blame me for and tell me that they gave me freebies out of the kindness of their hearts. The freebies were because of mistakes they made.

I will tell you that I went through one whole apt. with them thinking that I was someone else. When I told the dentist that today, he basically “pft” stuff happens.

Anyway forgive me for venting and for any mistakes. I took some ativan because I’m so not okay right now. I’m very triggered.  Me taking ativan during the day is saying a lot. I never use it for anything other than the odd night that I can’t sleep.

I gotta go back and read what I just typed…

Okay now that I know what I just typed, I will tell you that Hubby is coming to pick me up and take me there. I’m not going alone for two reasons one, I’m not in good shape and two, I need a witness to any further conversations with them.

As it stands right now, I have an apt. with a new dentist on Wed.

I’ll let you all know how it goes if you care too.

There is hope.

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