I would like to welcome back TACDGN, she has more of her story to tell, and I want to thank her for choosing this platform to do so. You have such courage TACDGN
When most people think about taking out the trash they think about gathering up their garbage, putting it into the garbage can and setting the can out for the trash man to come collect it. Usually trash day is one day each week. When I was a kid trash day was on Tuesday morning. So early that morning my father would gather up the trash and take it out to the garbage can. Before he put the lid on the garbage can the last thing he would put in the can sometimes was me.
I remember one time being in there with the stinky garbage and I could hear the garbage truck backing up. I wiggled and wiggled until the trash can fell over and I got out. I was around 4 years old that day. Was it the only time it happened well no, as it happened several times after that. I always wondered why dad did that. It had a real profound effect on me. When I did not feel good emotionally I felt like “garbage”.
I had times in my life as an adult that I would have a real bad reaction to walking past a garbage can. I do know that now in my life a lot of personal garbage has been taken to the garbage can and left for the trash man.
When I was a young adult I had a drinking problem. I know now I drank to cover up the pain of my rotten childhood. One day God tapped me on the shoulder and said “I have a better way” I found Jesus and that was my better way.
Many years later I became friends with Ben & Jerry’s. That caused me to gain almost 65 lbs. On this 5 ft 4 inch frame that was a lot of weight. I was comforting myself with food to cover up the pain of a rotten marriage. The more I ate the fatter I became and the unhappier I was. I was miserable. I got to a place where I could not take it any more so I asked God to help me. He did by teaching me how to eat a clean diet no processed foods and to find a love for working out. By doing this I lost the weight and then some. I went from almost 200 lbs. to 115 lbs.
I knew that I was not done taking out my personal trash as I had more to walk to the garbage can. So the next thing I took was my bad marriage. I ended it with a willing hubby as he wanted out too. I knew this was the right thing to do and God helped make it easy. I do know that I am not done taking out my personal trash. With being an abuse survivor I still have more work to be done. It’s just one step to the garbage at a time.
There is hope!