A short note first to update you all on the medication situation. Although there is still a shortage on my medication, I went to another pharmacy and was able to get a months worth of my meds. In the meantime I’ve made and apt. with my doc and I hope to come up with a back up plan in case the shortage continues. Thank you to everyone who has helped and researched for me! You guys are amazing!
In other news…
I’ve found lately that when I’m watching T.V. shows with a story line about broken families that end up reconciling in the end, they bring me to tears every time and I don’t cry easily.
I will likely never (Barring a miracle) have the option of reconciling with my family. Apparently I’m in more pain over this than I realize, and these happy ending shows bring out the pain.
I know that’s not always a bad thing but, I have to say that I shut it down pretty quickly because the thought of allowing myself to feel it fully is an unbearable thought. I don’t like to put my Hubby through it either.
I think no matter what a family has done to us, it seems that the longing (Maybe hope) for things to change for the better is always there.
You know, about a year and a half ago Hubby and I bought our first home. Hubby had his family here, and they drove for days to be here. I had no one from my side of the family. They knew we got a house but number one, they wouldn’t have come if I asked, and number two, I couldn’t allow them to anyway if they were willing. There’s too much abuse.
We had also moved away so I didn’t even have any friends to share the joy with.
This stuff hurts a lot. I long to have a family I can share the good and the bad with. My sister even had to rub it in and ask me how it felt to have no one here for me. How nice eh?!
I know we can make those that care family but, the longing to have my blood family will always be there and there’ll always be a level of pain in its regard.
Do you have T.V. shows that cause you to cry because they hit too close to home?
There is hope!